For this whole week, starting from last Monday until now, a lot of depressing items bombarded me. I kinda forgot what actually really happened, but there was one moment that told me to change who I am.
However, to change oneself is not easy. I tried to get myself break out of my shell, and it was (and still is) very daunting and mentally challenging - at least I saw a tiny bit of progress, and that keep me composed for a while. :)
Moreover, I am too sleepy to write anymore. Oyasumi nasai.
Random say: I really, really admire her. Beautiful.
Reality: This world is cruel, but fair. It is a fate to be able to meet her, but then she seems to be a punishment for me.
We are quite the opposite of each other, physically. I'm not sure about mentally, though. (Western and Eastern collide, wow...)
Here I am, sitting on my bed, thinking about her as I type. I don't want to go wishy-washy here (no 'jiwang' please...), I just wanted to tell this for my own sake. Who knows, whether my feelings change, just like the past. Whether my feeling of love is something that just passes by my eyes.
I can never know what genuine love feels like.
P.s. I do know the love of families and friends. :D
