The day that I don't want to be remembered of.

Hiya blogg~ (I am so bored right now that I actually turn to my blog to 'fess up anything in my head)

Usually I write anything significant and less here, no matter how trivial the subject is. But for the past few months (I think) I didn't write anything. Yeah, the exams were coming during that time but those things didn't really affect my ability to blog.

So what is (or are) the reason(s)?

First, I got social commitments to make (boarding house was sure really, really fun).

Second, I was on evasive mode.

...

Evading from what?

Until now the idea of 'evasion' is still vague to me.

*Thinking*

So two years had passed. And they sure went by very quickly. If I were to re-read my previous posts, various memories would surface up - although most of them would be referring to her. Ah, such punishing memories~ :P

But then, in the end, I'm the only one who can make my own memories (although sometimes I wished to forget everything and start anew). I remembered what I had put as a status on FB:

"I jumped off the ledge, only to find myself hanging on a higher platform. :P
The gap between the ledge and the platform isn't that far from each other."

What does that mean?

Happy 20th birthday to me, and a very normal day to celebrate as no one has realised that today is my birthday. Such a sad day... :P

Later.

Teh' Boredom

This... Is maybe my first post of the year. Yes. I think. You should better check the previous post 'cause I couldn't bother to check it while typing this.

Basically, everything in the past posts were lies.

Kidding. XD

I'm pretty bored actually. Wanting to sleep but also trying to have shower at the same time.
...
I don't want to sleep during shower. =_="

Let's just get the shower done first.

Ja mata~

Monologue: 19.12.10

It's midnight...
And I am lying on sofa in the living room, covered by thin blanket.
I don't have my own bed :P Well... What do you expect from a family living in a small rented house? Hah.
Things may be like this until mid-next year.
What I want to convey is some people do not know what kind of life I'm living - I'm just your average person, with a father that has just finished serving the state's army, a mother who is a dedicated housewife, and siblings who are still studying.
...
And I'm very happy with the way we are right now; I couldn't ask for more. I really appreciate and thankful for everything so far, every experience counts.
... I can't think straight now.
I feel something very heavy is placed upon my shoulders. Being the eldest child of the family, I know that it is up to me to handle all of my family's responsibilities when my father does not have the strength to do so. Somehow, right now, I kinda get a glimpse of what my father feels of taking care of the family.

...
I can't continue anymore.

Good night.
Especially to- my one and only family.

Rush, rush.

It's time to go to Sabah. Finally, I'm driving there! XD

Decision, decision...

I'm such a loser today! T.T

That great oppurtunity was lost because of my self-worthlessness! (I wanted to curse myself using 'those' words, but nevermind. Fuck me)

I really don't have anything more to say. Fuck me (I shoulda go to the FML site)

I wonder if it is worth crying :/ hmm...

Oyasumi~

p.s: I wanna scream her name on top of my lungs!