The day that I don't want to be remembered of.

Hiya blogg~ (I am so bored right now that I actually turn to my blog to 'fess up anything in my head)

Usually I write anything significant and less here, no matter how trivial the subject is. But for the past few months (I think) I didn't write anything. Yeah, the exams were coming during that time but those things didn't really affect my ability to blog.

So what is (or are) the reason(s)?

First, I got social commitments to make (boarding house was sure really, really fun).

Second, I was on evasive mode.

...

Evading from what?

Until now the idea of 'evasion' is still vague to me.

*Thinking*

So two years had passed. And they sure went by very quickly. If I were to re-read my previous posts, various memories would surface up - although most of them would be referring to her. Ah, such punishing memories~ :P

But then, in the end, I'm the only one who can make my own memories (although sometimes I wished to forget everything and start anew). I remembered what I had put as a status on FB:

"I jumped off the ledge, only to find myself hanging on a higher platform. :P
The gap between the ledge and the platform isn't that far from each other."

What does that mean?

Happy 20th birthday to me, and a very normal day to celebrate as no one has realised that today is my birthday. Such a sad day... :P

Later.

Teh' Boredom

This... Is maybe my first post of the year. Yes. I think. You should better check the previous post 'cause I couldn't bother to check it while typing this.

Basically, everything in the past posts were lies.

Kidding. XD

I'm pretty bored actually. Wanting to sleep but also trying to have shower at the same time.
...
I don't want to sleep during shower. =_="

Let's just get the shower done first.

Ja mata~

Monologue: 19.12.10

It's midnight...
And I am lying on sofa in the living room, covered by thin blanket.
I don't have my own bed :P Well... What do you expect from a family living in a small rented house? Hah.
Things may be like this until mid-next year.
What I want to convey is some people do not know what kind of life I'm living - I'm just your average person, with a father that has just finished serving the state's army, a mother who is a dedicated housewife, and siblings who are still studying.
...
And I'm very happy with the way we are right now; I couldn't ask for more. I really appreciate and thankful for everything so far, every experience counts.
... I can't think straight now.
I feel something very heavy is placed upon my shoulders. Being the eldest child of the family, I know that it is up to me to handle all of my family's responsibilities when my father does not have the strength to do so. Somehow, right now, I kinda get a glimpse of what my father feels of taking care of the family.

...
I can't continue anymore.

Good night.
Especially to- my one and only family.

Rush, rush.

It's time to go to Sabah. Finally, I'm driving there! XD

Decision, decision...

I'm such a loser today! T.T

That great oppurtunity was lost because of my self-worthlessness! (I wanted to curse myself using 'those' words, but nevermind. Fuck me)

I really don't have anything more to say. Fuck me (I shoulda go to the FML site)

I wonder if it is worth crying :/ hmm...

Oyasumi~

p.s: I wanna scream her name on top of my lungs!

'Twas fun!

Uh huh, football fun day, that's the reason.

---

I got a blank mind right now, but I wanna write something.

Something along the lines of don't get your hopes over something that is very uncertain.
But, the problem is, I don't know what is that 'uncertain' entity. Future life, perhaps?

I just can't feel any emotion.

Ja ne~

Very weird week...

Robberies, suicide attempt, man found dead on street, fire, etc. etc. ...

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!

Alright, let's leave those stuff. I wanna write something else.

That email contents work, mahn. I feel very satisfied with myself. Shiawase desu~!
Now I got the motivation to work hard. :D

Randomness:
I'm trying to live with this motto: "If I'm afraid of doing it, do it."
Way to go, taichou.

Ja ne~

Oh, yeah. I need an answer, not the reason.

I wish I have somebody to talk to. Too bad, I'm alone XD

Randomness: I like her sleeping face.

Ja ne~

My life is currently lagging behind.

Oi blogg~
Long time no see, wassup? (^^,)

And yeah, wassup my readers?
*silent*
Uhh, I know that my blog is not that popular... But at least I managed to keep this one running since... 2007 - I think? Nevermind that.

Holy yeah! I do drinks business in school! (so much for randomness, but hey, $36 profit per week is enough for me)

Upcoming event this week:
- Halloween dinner @ boarding house.
- International Day this Friday @ JIS.
- Football funday this Sunday! Gonna busk and entertain people! :D

Um, I'm gonna be sick from typing this in the car.

Laters~

Ahah, I'm stupid indeed afterall! XD

Oh lalala~

Exactly, I'm that stupid. Stupid and stubborn.

But then, it's different. I've got a new outlook. ^.^

So watch out, girl. The tiger is here. Rarr!

I have to.

Hola my blogg~ And welcome back to Brunei, myself.

Yeah, I'm back from Singapore.
The trip was kinda okay - nothing more, nothing less; although I would love to come back.. As a tourist. :P

Back in my head, I always asked myself before the trip: Will the trip make or break the situation?
The answer: Total confusion. It's either that I'm an idiot or she gave mixed signals. But then any answers lead to one thing: frustration.

Therefore, to simplify and shorten the long story, I will decide that I have to move on. I have to let go the feelings I have hold onto for over a year. I will not think about it anymore. I have to focus to other things - ones that matter most to me, my near-future life.

So, the time of uncertainty is over. Farewell, these unrequited feelings of mine. Farewell, to the rose that I admired the most. I will still admire you, because of your fine demeanor, and nothing more than that.

I learned a valuable lesson: don't get your expectation high, or you will hurt yourself.

Sayonara.

Ah... *Fidget, fidget* I don't think it's...

Hola blogg~ :D

I feel happy today! Not because of upcoming Raya though. XD

See ya later!

Blog: Revisited

It's the high time I should do some writings here. Let's start with my AS Level result.

Bee triple see...
B - Maths. Planning to retake C2.
C - Physics. Planning to retake Unit 1.
C - Psychology. No retaking, aiming to get a B as a whole.
C - Geography. ... Let's just say that this is very unexpected. Unexpected indeed... :3

Overall, the results aren't up to my expectations but they still do the job. Cheers to me.

As I am writing now, I have less than a week to prepare for the new school year. I hope that this coming term will be packed with action, adventure, romance, horror, comedy, thriller, mystery, sci-fi, et cetera, et cetera.
Other things to consider is the guitar. Not my current one, but an electric guitar I want to buy from Izzat. Around B$300+, which is cheap especially when an amp is included in the pack.

That's all for the time being. Ja ne~

Come on stalkers, it doesn't hurt to say hi on the shout box :D

Girls Dead Monster sigs!

I've been fooling around with Photoshop these days... And tada~

The Holidays; it's summer and it's... boring? Heh.

Uh oh... It's the dreaded holidays with nothing to do. Kidding :D

I hope I can get back to school.

Something about migraine... Physics unit 2 tomorrow!

Hiya to those reading my blog- if there is really anyone reading this.

Blogging to me is just 'something' to let out my thoughts overtime. Sometimes I get this weird feeling that somebody might be stalking me through blog. Anyway, it's not like someone is trying to kill me though.

Lemme see...

I've got runny nose currently. :p Hahah.

And my love interest is dying out right now. Why? 'Cause I haven't seen her since the exam.
I am not-that-oh-so confused, as I'm interested in two women- but, the impact of the absence of the first love prospect is greater than the second one.
But then, unluckily those are just feelings - nothing less, nothing more. I mean, who would wanna choose a guy with negative height difference like me? And different backgrounds, too?

Nope, it's not that I'm not confident - it's like trying to defy the rigid structure of Bruneians' mind of social acceptance. If I'm in another country, I would confess to the person I like already.

I hate runny nose.

Oyasumi nasai.

Hola~ June 2010

Hiya there, it's been a while ya' know. :D

I got myself a new TGM acoustic guitar last week, so I think I'll be busy for the time - renewing and polishing my skills.

My reason: I wanna make a rock band. -_-" Kinda lame reasoning though.

I have a couple of self-written songs already, and now going to do the third one.

That's all for the update. :D

Along those 'lines'?

Excuse me, do you speak English?

No, what do you speak then?

*laugh*

On a nice Wednesday afternoon, I had a good time during 'go' ASA - there're only me, the teacher and my fave girl. XD

What is my anti-depressant?

We just had our lip-sync competition. And our block (and house) didn't win.
Truthful to be told, I felt bitter about it. So what will cheer me up?

Doing homework and listening to music of course. :D

I don't know if thinking of her counts. :s

Oyasumi nasai~

When you have something to consider about.

This is what I found about myself when I was go-ing this afternoon just now:
If I meet a person that I really like, I will ignore the people close to me (such as my friends).

And it's the same if I do something that's very addictive, I tend to ignore things which are really, really important in the long turn. Talk about instant gratification, huh?

Ja ne. :D